Roasting is all about delivering sharp, witty, and just painful enough comebacks to make everyone laugh while leaving the target momentarily speechless. Below is a collection of 100 roast lines, categorized for different vibes—clean, savage, rhyming, and situational—to suit any occasion, from friendly banter to epic roast battles. Use these with caution, keep the mood light, and always ensure your audience is ready for a burn. Let’s dive in!
Clean Roasts (Safe for All Audiences)
These are lighthearted, family-friendly roasts that poke fun without crossing the line.
- Your brain’s like a parking lot—empty with a few handicapped spaces.
- You’re so slow, you got lapped by a snail on a coffee break.
- You’re not dumb; you just make everyone else look like Einstein.
- Your style’s so outdated, it’s like you shop at a museum.
- You’re like a Wi-Fi signal—just when we need you, you drop.
- If laziness was a degree, you’d have a PhD with honors.
- Your selfies are so filtered, even Photoshop says, “Chill.”
- You’re proof that evolution takes its sweet time.
- Your ideas are so fresh, they come with an expiration date.
- You’re like a light bulb—dim and always flickering.
- You bring so much joy… when you leave the group chat.
- Your dance moves look like you’re fighting off invisible bees.
- If I had a dollar for every brain cell you have, I’d be broke.
- You’re the human equivalent of a “loading” screen.
- Your personality’s so flat, it makes pancakes jealous.
- You’re like a Monday—nobody’s excited to see you.
- Your jokes are so bad, they make dad jokes look like comedy gold.
- You’re not the sharpest crayon in the box, are you?
- Your fashion sense is giving “thrift store clearance rack.”
- You’re so boring, you could make a sloth fall asleep.
Savage Roasts (For When You Want to Sting)
These are brutal, clever burns for when you need to shut someone down with style. Use sparingly!
- If ignorance is bliss, you’re living in paradise.
- I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
- You’re not useless—you’re a perfect example of what not to do.
- Your ego’s so big, it needs its own orbit.
- You’re the reason “facepalm” is in the dictionary.
- I’d roast you, but you’re already overcooked.
- Your brain’s so small, it could fit in a tweet with characters to spare.
- You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
- If stupidity was a superpower, you’d be saving the world daily.
- You’re so irrelevant, even Google can’t find you.
- Your personality’s so dry, it makes the Sahara look like a waterpark.
- I’d give you a comeback, but you’d fumble it like your life goals.
- You’re the human equivalent of a pop-up ad—annoying and unwanted.
- Your face is so punchable, it’s practically begging for a fist bump.
- You’re so bad at everything, you make failure look like a skill.
- If brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to start a lawnmower.
- You’re the reason they put warning labels on everything.
- Your life’s so boring, even your shadow leaves early.
- You’re like a broken pencil—pointless and nobody wants to sharpen you.
- I’d roast you harder, but I don’t want to waste my good material.
Rhyming Roasts (For Poetic Burns)
These roasts rhyme for extra flair, perfect for rap battles or playful showdowns.
- You think you’re hot, but you’re not even warm, your vibe’s so weak, it can’t weather a storm.
- Your brain’s like a book, but the pages are blank, your thoughts so shallow, they sank in the tank.
- You’re all talk, no game, just a flickering flame, burning out fast with nobody to blame.
- You’re loud as a gong, but your logic’s all wrong, trying to shine, but you don’t belong.
- Your style’s a disgrace, like you dressed in a race, picked your fit from a thrift store’s worst case.
- You’re slow as a slug, tripping over the rug, your brain’s on vacation, it needs a big hug.
- You’re dull as a knife, causing nothing but strife, your presence alone ruins everyone’s life.
- Hickory dickory dock, your brain’s like a rock, time keeps on ticking, but you’re out of stock.
- You’re fake like a mime, wasting everyone’s time, your skills so weak, they’re barely a rhyme.
- Twinkle, twinkle, little star, you’re the worst at whatever you are.
- You’re loud, you’re proud, but you’re lost in the crowd, your dreams so small, they’re not even allowed.
- Your wit’s so slow, it’s stuck in the snow, while the rest of us shine, you’re just a no-show.
- You’re all bark, no bite, fading out in the night, like a candle too weak to hold onto light.
- Your jokes don’t land, they’re like castles of sand, washed away fast by your own boring brand.
- Fee-fi-fo-fum, your brain’s just plain dumb, keep talking trash, and you’ll still get none.
Roasts for Friends (Playful Bro Banter)
These are tailored for roasting your buddies in good fun, keeping it tight and relatable.
- Your gaming skills are so bad, even NPCs feel bad for you.
- You’re so broke, your wallet’s got an echo.
- Your hairline’s retreating faster than you do from a workout.
- You’re the guy who burns cereal and calls it “cooking.”
- Your pickup lines are so bad, they make rom-coms look smooth.
- You’re so bad at texting back, even spam bots give up on you.
- Your gym routine’s so weak, it’s just “lift the remote, repeat.”
- You’re the reason we can’t have nice things—like Wi-Fi that works.
- Your playlist is so bad, it’s like you’re DJing for a funeral.
- You’re so predictable, even horoscopes call you basic.
- Your sneaker game’s so weak, it’s like you shopped at a yard sale.
- You’re the king of oversleeping, but you still miss the point.
- Your confidence is wild—too bad it’s not backed by skills.
- You’re so bad at parking, you make parallel lines cry.
- Your cooking’s so bad, the fire alarm’s your sous-chef.
Roasts for Siblings (Sibling Rivalry Fuel)
For brothers and sisters who need a quick burn to keep the sibling vibes spicy.
- You’re the reason Mom says, “Why can’t you be more like the other one?”
- Your room’s so messy, it’s like a landfill applied for residency.
- You’re proof our parents should’ve stopped at me.
- Your brain’s so small, it’s still in the kiddie pool.
- You borrow my stuff so much, I’m charging you rent.
- You’re so loud, even Siri tells you to shut up.
- Your report card’s so bad, it’s framed in the Hall of Shame.
- You’re the family disappointment, and that’s saying something.
- Your face is so annoying, it’s like you were born to bug me.
- You’re so lazy, you make sloths look like overachievers.
Situational Roasts (For Specific Scenarios)
These are for specific moments, like shutting down a bragger or roasting a bad driver.
- (For a bragger) You talk a big game, but your skills are in witness protection.
- (For a bad driver) Your driving’s so bad, even GPS says, “I quit.”
- (For a know-it-all) You know everything, except how to be right.
- (For a loud talker) Your volume’s so high, you make megaphones jealous.
- (For a slow texter) You text so slow, carrier pigeons would beat you.
- (For a bad cook) Your food’s so bad, it’s banned from potlucks.
- (For a gym bro) You lift so little, the dumbbells lift you.
- (For a wannabe influencer) Your posts are so bad, even bots unfollow you.
- (For a bad singer) Your voice is so rough, it makes karaoke machines crash.
- (For a cheapskate) You’re so cheap, you haggle with vending machines.
Bonus Roasts (Extra Spicy for Maximum Impact)
These are the nuclear option—use them when you need to dominate the roast session.
- You’re so irrelevant, even your shadow ghosts you.
- Your life’s so boring, it’s like watching paint dry in slow motion.
- You’re the reason “mute” buttons were invented.
- Your personality’s so flat, it makes 2D look like 3D.
- You’re so bad at life, even your horoscope says, “Good luck, you’ll need it.”
- If I had to choose between you and a root canal, I’d pick the drill.
- You’re like a bad sequel—nobody asked for you, but here you are.
- Your brain’s so rusty, it creaks louder than your excuses.
- You’re so forgettable, even amnesia patients remember you less.
- I’d roast you more, but you’re already a walking dumpster fire.
Tips for Nailing a Roast
- Read the Room: Ensure the vibe is playful and the target can handle it. Avoid sensitive topics like personal insecurities.
- Deliver with Confidence: A smirk or playful tone makes even savage roasts feel fun.
- Keep it Clever: Witty burns get laughs; mean ones get awkward silence.
- Know When to Stop: If the roast lands poorly, pivot to a lighter joke or apology.
- Practice Timing: Drop your roast at the perfect moment for maximum impact.
Why Roasts Are Awesome
Roasts are a timeless way to flex your wit and bring people together through laughter. From comedy clubs to group chats, a good roast showcases creativity and quick thinking. Just keep it fun, avoid crossing into bullying, and let these 100 lines inspire your next verbal takedown.